Tuesday

For some people returning home is easy. For others is not. There are good days and not so good days. Then there are crappy days. Tuesday was a crappy day.

Many repatriates – or whatever they/we are called – invest a lot of energy in positive thinking, taking a day at the time, and doing things that bring happiness into their lives. I guess for many this works. For some it might end up being a mask that at some point becomes too heavy to wear.

Tuesday was a crappy day.

Already in the morning there was a slight uneasy feeling, and the whole idea of getting to the office and being productive felt nearly impossible. Then there was an unconstructive meeting with a few misunderstandings and clashes of personalities. Which is fine and normal, as these do happen. But with an uneasy mindset negative thinking unfortunately took over.

This wasn’t the best starting point for a late afternoon two hour meeting with Talky’s teacher and a special teacher. I think I once wrote in my Finnish blog that in Finland Talky probably would get ADHD status. Well, it took less than three months in Finland to get started with that. Not that it’s bad to get help if/when needed – quite the opposite – but at the moment I feel that there just is a little too much to handle. Plus moving to Finland has been a huge change for someone who has spent more than half of his life in a completely opposite culture, had very little exposure to all-of-the-sudden-gained personal freedom, and has been used to a way more fun oriented and social school and lifestyle. Combined with parents making the big mistake of putting him in a grade too high. Which we cannot reverse now.

The evening ended with Talky’s phone being “grounded” for two days due to unpermitted gaming. One thing I really really really hate here is the culture of mobile phones playing such an important role in children’s lives.

Some of our repatriation wise more experienced friends told me, that the first year back in Finland will be horrible. More or less a survival game. We still have nine months to go of that horrible year. I wonder if we all will be on meds by then.

 

4 thoughts on “Tuesday

  1. The first year anywhere is usually in my experience fairly awful… But once you get through it everything will seem that much more doable and familiar.

    I find it frustrating how quickly kids get diagnosed with this and that these days. Not just in Finland either. Apparently a mum I know here in Khartoum has just been told that if she wants more extensive testing done on her kid, it will have to be done elsewhere, the school does not have the capacity. The thing is that she had not been asking about ADHD/learning disability/etc testing at all, she had just wanted to see if there was anything she could do to help her kid settle into the new school and new country… Like some extra homework or whatever. Her family too has just arrived here about three months ago, and came from a totally different culture and language. Honestly. I think any kid that doesn’t have any issues the first year in a new country should probably get some testing done! I am only half joking…

    Here’s to hoping the rest of the week will be much better.

    1. That’s what I’ve heard and read from more or less everybody: the first year is not an easy one. For some reason I just thought that if I just apply right attitude it will be easy for me/us.

      Frustrated is the very right word do describe my feelings at the moment. How is it possible that we meet both the teacher and the special teacher for the first time and immediately we start talking about getting tested and what equipment (earmuffs etc.) they already have ordered (without even consulting us first)? Only when we brought up that he has just been through a huge change – a whole set of huge changes – did we discuss about that. I guess I expected a bit more from the Finnish education system, especially since this particular school is supposed to have experience with returning/international students.

      I also tend to agree with your view of kids not having problems the first year actually having big problems. The concept of “normal” feels extremely narrow up here. Being quiet is definitely one of the key elements of normality. Maybe that’s one reason why there is so much ill-being in the welfare state?

      By the way, if you are interested in reading a really well written blog about (school) struggles with a special needs child in Finland, take a look at Hip Bitch and her Four Chicken.

      Thanks, yesterday was a(nother) day of self-pity, today looks much better.

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